Hello and welcome to my own little corner of the internet. This is the first of many blog posts. I have no idea if this blog will ever take off, and at this point, it does not really matter. This is a space for me to pour all my emotions out onto a page. It may get messy, it may get dark, it may make you question yourself, and Hell it may even change your life. My blog is a place for stories, for questions, and for a jumbo of emotions. Listen, we are all people here, we are flawed by design. Therefore no judgement will be found here, except Judge Judy, she is OK in my book. I’ll usually end each post with thank you’s shout outs and some song lyrics that had been floating around in my head.
Enough about the logistics, you are obviously dying to know more about me. Who am I? I am nothing special in my own mind. I am a college kid living in the States. For now, I am writing in a dorm room that predates my parents era. My only company is the spider named Leon that lives in my closet. I am your average young adult who loves his family, his friends, strange food, beanies, memes and watching sunsets. Then there is my love life. I am currently single because of my own mistakes, but that post will come when I actually have an audience. I am in a complicated relationship with a God who shows me unconditional love and constantly grows me and shapes me to be a better person, at the same time, I have my doubts and insecurities. Chucking this out there now. Just because I am a follower of Christ, does not mean I am this magically happy and perfect person. Take your past negative experiences and what you have been told about Christians and please try and put them aside, thank you and have a nice day. Guess what? I am messed up. I fail to be perfect everyday. No matter how hard I try, I still fall short of the expectations I try and live up to. We are all flawed as people. So enough of that. I am not gonna force religion in your face, I will not refuse you medical care and education if you do not accept my religion. Back to me as a person, I am actually pretty messed up. Depression is a bitch to be honest. Anxiety is not a good time. Nuff said. I will explain my experiences later on. I live my life like a Bahamian island in August; hurricane season. I feel like I spend my life in the eye of a hurricane, as the Ham said himself “in the eye of a hurricane there is quiet, for just a moment.” I stand there in what seems like perfect peace, the air is calm and yet I spy it, over the horizon it lurks, the wall of storm whipping up all of my problems spinning faster and faster, lurking closer, crawling along the beach waiting to draw me in and strangle all the peace from my lungs. Now something you need to know about me, is that I daydream vividly. One of my recurring fantasies is that I am running naked through a minefield bumping into landmines and losing a bit of myself in the explosion as i stumble toward another charge. I run into a problem and get haymakered in my emotional noggin and inadvertently stumble into another crap charge.
I am a night owl, a camper, a singer with 0 confidence in my own voice. I am a kid chasing planes that are out of my reach. I wish upon stars, I whistle while I work and above all, I truly believe that if I can dream it I can do it.
Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once? YO that opening riff in Basket Case will hook you in seconds.
This is me signing off for now. Share this with your friends, worry about me, donate a goat in my name, it is whatever.
On a personal note, if you know who I really am or find out, please do not make a big deal out of this.
Until next time, stay on your feet, keep fighting and don’t ever give up.